Is it the TIME ?
Updated: Nov 12, 2021
I was very excited driving my car to Giza to pick up my gorgeous and most loved Leena after the ten long days she spent at her father’s place. I was finishing some important phone calls while waiting for her downstairs, and as soon as I saw her going down the stairs I threw my phone away and ran to her. Surprisingly, she looked happy and healthy, the opposite of how she normally looks after a long stay there. It seems that her dad was the one taking care of her this time not the maid as usual. I immediately called him “Ahmed, thank you for taking good care of her, she looks amazing” he replied “alhamd lelah alhamd lelah alhamd lelah”.
“Leena is almost seven now, a fantastic reader, and a great performer . . sometimes I don’t believe how she grew up that fast” I thought while driving and listening to her stories about the vacation at her father’s place. I remember the day she was born. It was a Friday, and it was Ramadan. Many of the expecting mothers waiting for delivery at the hospital came to my room to pray for me. I was overwhelmed, worried, anxious and restless. I was impatient waiting to see the baby I have been talking to for almost six months. I was dreaming how she would look like and I was sure she would be the most beautiful girl I will see in my entire life. Leena has already created debates and controversy among many Egyptians even before her arrival to this world. As a mother to be, thinking of how she will grow up and live in this country facing many gossips about who she was and whether Ahmad was her father or not was scaring me. As a woman, I had no doubt she will grow up to be a strong and inspiring woman. I loved her way before I saw her, and the minute I hugged her in the delivery room just as soon as she saw the world and even before they cleaned her, I promised her she will be the most important thing in my life. I promised her I would never think of having another. I promised her she would have the finest bringing and cherish for as long as I live. Now, my baby is almost seven, have I really fulfilled my promise? I don’t know, I can never be sure, nobody is perfect. But I know I will never love anybody more than I love her. I know I will never put anybody before her.
Those ten days were one of the longest away from my beloved Louli, so I was over excited about the weekend Iwill spend with her by the beach, a weekend I have been planning for almost five days ahead. She grew up to be an intelligent, creative, funny, loving, and well behaved girl. I’m very proud of her, and whenever I think of all difficulties I faced before and after she was born to guarantee a respectable image for her, I never regret anything. It was all just meant to be. Leena has made a new Hind that I am also proud of.
We arrived to Mokattam, where we live. Leena saw someone who sells plants in the street and asked me if she could buy a plant. We stopped, chose a couple of plants then took off cheerful and contended heading home to pack and wait for Nouni, my sister in law and the kids to pick us up. Leena was asking me how long are we staying in sokhna, and before I answer her question I sensed a huge crash, and in a second the surrounding started to become vivid as I lost control over the steering wheel. I reached for Leena, held her tight and closed my eyes as the car started spinning around.
I still remember the promise I gave her, the promise to take care of her. I remember the past six and half years. I remember every single moment we passed through. I remember how every moment with her was special, the good and the bad. Our life together has been a blessing, we grew up together and learnt a great deal together. Life has more to give us and we, too, have more to give to life. Has our time come God, have I picked her to see her for the last time! Could life end that suddenly? I live for her and I hoped to see her growing. End my life but don’t end hers please. She deserves to live, she’s still too young. Oh, but what if I died, who will take care of her.
The clouds of dust were now gone to the horizons on all directions and the noise created by the engine was not being heard anymore. Crowds of people were around the car trying to open the crashed doors of the car with no luck. I opened my eyes still hugging Leena who was wailing and horrified. The crowds outside the car were yelling “get out of the car, it might explode!” I started to realize that we are still in danger and I threw Leena out of the car right away. Thanks God, we were not injured.
I was not at all concerned that my car might probably be wrecked without repair. All what I was feeling then was love. Love to God and gratitude to every single detail in life I’ve never seen just because I never thought my life might end that sudden. Love to life that has given me immeasurably. Love to my daughter and to myself and to all people who have supported me throughout my path. Something is changing in me. I still don’t fully understand what exactly is going on inside me now, but I know I want to make the best of this life.
“Sometimes we encounter things in our path, but because our time has not yet come, they brush past us, without touching us, even if they were close enough for us to see them” Paolo Coelho